Between You and God: A Review of Surrender to Love

Surrender to Love: Discovering the  Heart of Christian Spirituality
by David G. Benner.

What does God think of you?
Do you relate to Him with fear or trust?
How does that affect your life?

David Benner, a professor of psychology and spirituality, summarizes the Christian life in his title: Surrender to Love. He recognizes our longing for love and connection – indeed, it is our life purpose – yet we are hesitant to be vulnerable.

The book contains only five chapters, and is not burdensome to read. It takes the reader through a progression as follows:

First, he poses the question, “what do you think God feels about you?” He encourages us to think if God as the Father of the prodigal son – loving us despite our sin. He also points out that Jesus, God incarnate shows us that God is love. The problem, however, is that many people know this, but don’t feel it. They need to experience it.

Second, Benner addresses fear. Some people relate to God in this way, as if God only offered His gift of Love “at gunpoint.” And, living in fear, we seek safety by seeking to control ourselves and others. Only knowing the safety of God’s uninventable, inconceivable gracious love can free us from fear, to vulnerably receive.

Third, he argues that obedience to God, which leads to our well-being, needs to be in surrender. We can’t strive to obey by our own strength; we must abandon control, and trust His love. Obedience should be restful, like flowing in a stream, rather than striving by our own strength. It is preferring His way, and saying “yes” to Him – only possible if we trust His love.

Fourth, Benner outlines the transformational journey this involves. It begins with conversion, which involves repenting or turning from our sin, to God. This requires trusting His love and reorienting toward Him. Next, one must receive the love in vulnerability – only then can it truly transform us. One may know the truth, but they will not be able to change by sheer willpower. Finally, after opening oneself to God, one must “leap beyond belief” and truly experience His love. Only God’s love can truly satisfy, and only His love is perfect enough for absolute surrender; but our love can partially reflect it enough to partially enjoy this transformative love in a human context.

Fifth, Benner addresses how we can “become love.” He points out that conversion involves a death and rebirth of the self. And to become new, it involves meditating on God’s love, rather than trying to mimic it. But, one must experience this love through the cross alone – recognizing our sinfulness and need, and receiving His gift. From there, we lose ourselves and become others-oriented; we become love, in the image of the One Who is love.

What can I say about this book?

If you prefer practical, hands-on, formulaic, how-to ministry manuals, this isn’t for you. Yet, in a way, it does present us with very simple and clear instructions on how to benefit from God’s love.

Perhaps, you may wonder, ‘How can Benner, or anyone for that matter, speak of such things? Aren’t these issues private, between us and God?’

No. Read the Psalms. Read the Bible! We need to talk more about our relationship with God. Yes, it is individual and unique, but it is strengthened in community. Benner doesn’t have the complete view, but neither does anyone else. Yet, we can learn from one another, and I dare say we should learn from what Benner shares here.

So, by all means, check out this book, read it with an open mind, and take from it what you can!